Some Questions About Life?

ok, i hate wasting points so im gonna ask a few questions in one. i am a 13 year old emo boy that lives in canada, i really hate my life, i have thought about suicide several times, what do i do? i cut myself, i hate my life, and i just got a new girlfriend that wants me to stop it all, i told her i would, but only for her. i cant take life anymore!!! its so stressful, i like to just go to the park and multilate myself until im satisfied, alot of girls like me and i want them off my back cause im alreay in love. i dont have any friends. like literally, i have no friends. my grades in school are really bad, and i have a negetive attitude, I NEED HELP!!! i am too scared to see someone professional, and i am too scared to talk to my parents about it, so THERE!!! all i want is a couple good sites wih emo talk or forums, or some guidelines, i just want to be happy. but how do i do that, how do i maintain my happiness after i reclaim it? please please help me, im begging for advice. please=[